The Battle Ahead: Pushing Forward-"It's Always Personal"

Well it seems like the no-gi worlds has come to an end. While everyone is reflecting on their current triumphs or mistakes as for me I am getting ready to step back into the fire once again. A little over a month has passed by since my last personal victory in September now I am prepared for another “Battle Within” this coming Saturday at my next grappling tournament.

Since the Grappling X event a lot of things have changed. Aside from me training harder, feeling like a stronger person and completing my last article for the year one of the biggest shocker was the responses I got from the "2 part blog I wrote on my return to competition". It was surprising that so many people supported/ was inspired by my story {especially with me being just a normal guy} and how some even go through similar trials in their competition endeavors. The kind words definitely touched my heart which made me more motivated to compete more to REPRESENT for those people who go through their own personal battle in competition/life .

A lot of times a “Battle Within” can merely be to prove something to yourself whether it be becoming the best or facing a fear. Sometimes people get caught up in a fantasy land { things/goals that look great} such as medals, sponsorships, and lust for attention -etc.- which are all materialistic/narcissistic values that don't mean jack shit in the long run as you get higher in the ranks or in life.

Now on the other side of the coin you got a person who goes out there for personal reasons (like myself). Although getting a medal is great all of that gets override by the purpose embedded in their heart each time they goes onto the battlefield which as a result makes one stronger{win or lose}.

Carrying a personal purpose while going out there and giving it everything you have {making yourself vulnerable in a way} IMO is the true victory . You never know this personal journey may even bless you to becoming a world champ one day.

Going into my last tourney {coming off a 3 year absence} I obviously had a lot of baggage on me which got uplifted. This time around it’s all about building myself into the man I want to be...and no matter how many times I fall or medal  I won't stop until my goal is accomplished. So how do I keep myself focused on this you ask...when the ultimate mission is to get gold {from a competitive standpoint}...simple I reflect back to 05 and 09 incidents say this to myself.

"I've been down for over 3 years I refuse to coward in my own grief and be broken like that ever again by any man. I will always strive and not let any hurdle get in my way from bettering myself"

It kind of crazy I know. However to anyone who knows my story you would know why I feel this way.  It fuels my desire to prove to myself Im strong, it helps me to overcome another obstacle, and most importantly it allows me to get it everything I have (whether I win or lose) which allows me to see the battle through to the very end.  Overall it’s merely a way to keep me on soild ground while going into a fight because trust me it is and will ALWAYS be a nervous/hard ordeal getting ready for an unknown confrontation against someone you have no clue what/why they want to do something  to you.

In all I'm looking forward to the event. Overall it about building from the victories, to maybe losing, and facing new scenarios that will test me mentally and physically.

I guess for me in the end As long as my 5 prayers from what i mention in Part 2 gets answered I am fine with whatever happens.


Let see where it will take me this time around.

Finally wanted to say Thanks again for every1's support and most importantly to all the fighter's/friends that motivated me every day in my goal of becoming a better man. I couldn’t have taken this road again without your help (You know who you are !!!!).

Keep you ALL updated on the results....

Monta