Everything in life happens for a reason including the people that enter into it. People don't come into our lives by accident and although their presence may often be temporarily the interaction provides as a great learning experience to help us in our growth whether the lesson is harsh or uplifting.I have meet a lot of people along my life journey especially in my many travels in the MMA/BJJ world. Sitting here writing this blog it still blows my mind of one particular individual and if anyone would have told me 7 years ago that he would be my instructor when I first became a fan back at the Pan Ams 2006 I would have called them a bold face liar. But hey nothing happens by accident RIGHT ?
I would like to define the 2 year tenure as not just your typical getting better at BJJ session but also a call of action by someone to force one to improve every aspect of our lives. The individual I am talking about is Alexandre "Xande" Ribiero.
For all you newbies in the game if you don't know who Xande Ribeiro is you need to look him up as he is regarded as one of the most accomplished BJJ fighters of all time. Since 2006 I have somewhat followed his career . While many BJJ greats had the skills and work ethic that made them champions on countless occasions the thing that stood out about Xande for me was his attitude which can be described as a fearless warrior ready to go through whatever obstacle to achieve his goal.
Years passed on in my own journey as I was gradually trying to find my own place in the bjj universe as a blue belt. But it wasn't until 2011 where I found myself in an unhappy training situation which left me at a standstill of WHAT NOW ? Xande also seemed to be settling off on his own journey at the time as he moved from San Diego to Los Angeles. I was stoked when I found back in May 2011that he was going start a school in MY city so why not give it one more shot and train under a world champion I respected plus I figured being at the start of something for once would be great becuase I would get the chance to see the academy built from the ground up.
Contrary to what people might have thought (at least IMO) me and Xande were never close from a friendship standpoint (not to say we didn't get along because we got along great).99 % of our time together was spent on the mat. It's not to say I didn't want to be it just that when I came into the program I had instilled a mentality within myself to "play my position" above everything else which was to be the best student I can be and doing what Xande told me personally to do from day one which was staying committed to my training and my new BJJ family.
The months passed on as a found myself making close friends with my teammates (some people I consider brothers) while also learning BJJ techniques from the best. However moves taught in BJJ can only apply in the field of combat ( competition and self-defense) because although I learned some great techniques I learned something far greater which happens to be a challenge all of us go through daily ...LIFE.
Life is challenge every time you walked out of the door filled with various issues whether it is on your job, relationships, becoming the best at your craft, or some uncertainty within ourselves. BJJ World Champions are also not prone from this attack including Xande. (hopefully I don't get in trouble for saying this but here goes)...
On occasion (especially in Year 2) Xande would come to class and you can tell something was bothering him. It was like the weight of the world was on this man's shoulders as he took each step trying to overcome whatever "battle within" he was going through. But after strapping on that white kimono something happen which is something I never seen in all my 9 years of training. Whether it was verbal poetry or raw emotion he would turn it into positive energy on the mats running intense classes while spitting words I never heard come out of an instructors mouth something you couldn't find at your typical BJJ gym bound by the rules of train hard and pay your tuition.
"Every time you walk out of your house there is gonna be a challenge how are you gonna respond to it"
"You don't have to be a BJJ World Champion just a better person than you once were"
These were just small examples of encouragement/motivation he instilled in us something no fan or seminar attendee could ever get. Xande was a man that truly understood what this game is all about.
He was able to connect life trials with BJJ trials which gave us all a boost of confidence of whatever task or hurdle we were taking on to become better which is certainly made him worthy of the title Bossman..
On a personal note knowing Xande (especially a famous person of his caliber in the BJJ World) provided great influence and a sense of clarity that I wasn't alone. That I wasn't the only deep one , that I too was fighting every day to become better, reflecting, and through it all trying make my own positive contribution to society. It is those qualities that made me proud to be his student, wanting to learn more on how to be better, proud to take two metro trains and a bus 3 to 4 times a week at night to the academy, and most importantly (n this thought never crossed my mind ever)..... someone I wanted a BJJ Black Belt from someday.
Unfortunately life has a way of throwing wrenches in the equation as Xande's life (4 good reasons) was directing him into a new direction back to Brazil. Although I understood the reasons I did not take it very well (I have my reasons). Being that I lost so much this year (if you been following my timeline in 2013) this was something that I was angry and upset about asking the burning question why me ?. Not only my instructor but also all the friends (teammates I made in the process all gone. It hurt me deeply even much so that for the first time I BROKE...I wanted to quit BJJ for good cause nothing seemed to work for me. Then all the reason for this sadness hit me.
At that moment I realized this guy is truly making an impact in my life and although I was to prideful to admit it to his face under my straight blank/clueless face demeanor I didn't want him to go, I still needed him in some way to continue helping me...a painful hurt I kept bottled up.
But even in dark sad times Xande always had a way to keep everything positive . Heading into the Jiu-jitsu Jam/Seminar at Oceanside Jiu-jitsu on 12/3/13 all I truly wanted was just one more time to learn and train with him which I got. Little did I know I had something else waiting for me that night. Giving his speech he talked about the many special people he met during his time in LA. I don't remember much after that but I do remember him reaching in his Gi and pulling out a Purple Belt and saying my name.
The emotion I felt that day was overwhelming filled with shock, surprise, dumb founded for a minute and gratitude. It's was so overwhelming that after he put the purple belt around me I went into a Daydream Seizure for 10 minutes because I didn't think any of it was real. Even looking back on that day it hard to explain how I felt but I can tell you one thing I was humbled and honored to become his Purple belt. Now if that isn't a way to end a great chapter I don't know what is.
If you want to know about how lives are measure by the people we meet this is what this experience did for me and whether it is truly temporary (The END) or a mere set up to an upcoming sequel if definitely taught me a lot about myself.
and its not really much to say but ......................
thx Boss Man
1 % better or maybe even 2 % in this case
-monta (pronounced like Monday with a t replacing the d) :-)
to be continued next blog will talk about my training future.........................................
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