Living the Moment

When writing a blog I tend to get caught up in my thoughts as I attempt to paint a vivid picture for my readers to understand the concepts and events pertaining to my life. Caught in a constant space in time I believe that is what most people called “living in the moment”. Yes living moments is something we all do in life. Some occurrences challenge us, some cripple us, some strengthen you nevertheless each moment creates a sculpture of itself to present a clear perspective of who we are and what we hope to become.

Take me for example. Sit back as I as I drift away and take you all on a trip down memory lane in my life from a moment that occurred 8 years ago at my first no-gi tournament. Dislocated arm, walking up (from being passed out), tasting my own blood, and a couple of other crazy shit that happen to others that day to other people, in that moment I was introduce to the dark side of the martial arts community which left a permanent dent in my mental capacity for a long time. It was a moment that had me broken and scared for a long time which affected both my journey in grappling and even in aspect of my regular life outside the mat.

Flash forward to 2012 another moment occurred with my return to competition after  3 years of feeling sorry for myself which took me to winning a GOLD medal back in September .Realizing my motivation traits a new goal was embedded in my mind as I sought to challenge myself to becoming a …… well you know the rest ;-) 4 tournaments and a little knowledge later who would have ever though that the journey would take me back to the place where my problems began at CSU Dominguez Hills.

As most people who followed my facebook post I was a mental wreck and even in fear going back to that place. Various people helped motivate me to get through it all. However it was a small convo with my friend Bellator MMA fighter Nik Fekete and (the best writer in the world) Thomas Craig that allowed me to eliminate those venomous illusions poisoning my mind which not only strengthen my reasons for fighting strong that day but also staying in the present (living the moment).

Besides some minor distraction before my fight at the event sitting there in the venue it honestly felt unreal I was back there again (note I did compete there on two other occasion 06 and 08 which didn’t go well for me). But for some crazy reason as nervous and fearful of that place I was I somewhat embraced it like a moth to a flame because at that moment I knew it was coming to an end that day.

So after 3 hours of waiting it was my time to step  on the mat . Besides my last match I won’t get too detailed with my matches but here is a brief synopsis.

First match I fought a tough blue belt from the Lotus BJJ club with  back in forth match ending in my favor 4-2

Second match I fought (the eventual winner of the tournament) a guy from San Diego BJJ which I ended up me losing the fight 22-0. It was a blow out to say the least and although losing wasn’t what I went out there to do I walked off the mat with some satisfaction knowing I gave it everything I had and accepting the better man won at that MOMENT).

My third match found me in a position for getting the bronze medal. This particular fight stuck out in my mind because it saw two mentally and physically beat up competitors who came close to making it to the finals but didn't. Now they had to summon up what they had left for one last fight to make it to the podium.

Right off the top I had the utmost respect for my opponent because as tired as he seemed he made a comment straight to my face when the mat coordinator asked if we needed more time to rest. His response promptly was "I'm Ready Let's Do This". Now if that was the OLD me I would have taken that comment extremely personal (thinking he is the enemy) however not knowing his purpose for competing a sudden fuel of excitement and anxiousness raced through me because I knew win/lose not only was it going to be a great fight but also I was going out of CSU DH with a BANG.

As much as I despised CSU DH for years walking out on the mat for my final match I found myself a little bit sad and emotional because unlike a 8 years ago this day was different which was filled with respectful opponents, hard fights, and learning a great deal about myself toward my building. A day I honestly didn't want to end. But hey the present can instantly become the past in a matter of milo-seconds so I made it my sole intent to live in the moment as I shook my opponent's hand to start my final fight at the Los Angeles Open BJJ tournament.

Fortunately for me it got me somewhere as the bout concluded with me earning a submission victory thus giving me a bronze medal. From the time I walked in the building to my last fight I gained a major sense of peace and strength in overcoming my fears of fighting at CSU DH (talk about leaving it on the mat -haha-). Much respect to all my opponents for helping me through it all it was greatly appreciated.

Living in the Moment- that pinnacle point where you have a choice in creating something you are satisfied with. Trials and error come in the process but in working toward a goal it is to be expected to ultimately gets us to where we want to be or at least have a fulfilled journey with no regrets.  Through the good, bad, and ugly go through every sector with ambition to make it through to see the results. In other words have respect for your life. I know I will continue to

cant wait to see what my next adventure and challenge is.

 

1% better each Day

 

-monta' ( like Monday with a "t" replacing the "d") :-)