“The World is Cold So Wear a
Sweater”.
On a drunken
night in my college days at the 118 dorm with my roommates this was an expression
we used to describe what was going on in the world we dwelt in. In fact the
world is evil due to the corruption and ideology that comes with the society will
live . However being blinded (negative)
as we were at the time we never talked too much about the sweater which in fact symbolizes warmth from the blizzard
showcasing there is some sort of good/ light to every dark situation.
Being in
martials arts for almost 9 years I have had my share of many experiences that have shaped me into who I am today and
who I continue to strive in becoming. My trip to Denver oddly enough molded the above
quote I said 6 years ago into a reality. Cold Weather, Blizzard Snow, losing my
bjj match, and a dislocated finger all became the unkind session from my time
in The Mile High City. Luckily this trip offered some warmth from the storm as
I made great new friends in the form of the people from Relson Gracie Colorado
Crew who took care of me like I was one of their own (more on these individuals in future
articles) along with meeting some other friends like Josh Cavan, Nick
Laney, and old friend Kwai Long. Its
people like this that put things into perspective and make me blessed for the
individuals that enter into my life .It also times like this that allow you to
reflect see how far you come and the
people that got you where you are today.
After my
loss at the “Fight to Win” tournament in Denver sitting at the hotel with a
dislocated finger I got a phone call that literally sent my world crashing down
to the abyss. My lifelong friend and martial arts mentor Rustle Laidman passed away. It was news that shocked me and for the
first time ever I broke down as I curled in the corner wondering WTF was going
on. I was confused as to how a great person could leave my life so swiftly with
no sign whatsoever.
The Monta Wiley you see before you was not
always the nice, mellow, charitable, hardworking guy you know him to be today.
Flashback to my humble beginning at CSULA Martial Arts Program due to some personal problems off the mat
(death of my dad and other life quarrels) , on the mat trials as a martial
artist, and just a little bit of having a child-adult like arrogance I was not
the easiest person to be around. Although I was “trying” my attitude was
negative and it wasn’t “Accommodating” with
the instructors. No1 would dare step to me or u would most likely get cursed out
or even physically violated but then there was this old guy name Mr. Rustle Laidman. A man of fearlessness, wisdom, humbleness, and
darn right honestly opinionated (for good reason).
Like
myself, he was once an individual trying to find his own way in the world and
has also battled his own demons. We were both rebels from different time
periods using our own wits and cunning to become better and positive men
through each hurdle in our path. At the time as negative and as nuts as I was I
didn’t understand why he took a liking to me so much ( mind you I was very paranoid/untrusting of people at the time) he
would stay after and spar BJJ with me, teach me judo moves when my sensei’s
wanted nothing to do with me, give me a ride back home 20 minutes to the
project Hood I lived in, He even protected me from getting booted from the judo program
after a 2006 incident I did at a tournament which got me put on judo parole.
Even to this day I never understood why he did it. I guess it was my blindness
of that sweater (warmth) that existed in the cold world I was living in.
A couple
of years later I found myself a little more mature and walking across the stage
to receive me degree in Aviation. I don’t know what it was that day but for
some reason I asked myself a question. I said who was my best friend during my
time here in CSULA.. the name that instantly popped up first was Rustle ( true story no BS). I sent him an
e-mail later that day and thanked him for being a great friend which he gave me
a great reply letter on my growth. Oddly enough as I made my exit from CSULA he
was making his own exit as he and his wife Janel moved to Oregon. It was as if
IMO his work of helping so many people at the college was done.
After
college we still kept in touch. He would always spy on my facebook waiting for
the right time to Pounce putting me in check to get me back on track like he
has done many occasions in the past and on one occasion boyyy did he ever which
would be the next step that would take to a place I never thought I would find
myself. Depressed and out on my luck in 2010
I use to write my thoughts and opinions on a creation I made known as the montablog venting my frustrations with
martial arts and the world in general. On one occasion Rustle made his move making
a harsh comment “ Your good with words but
I don’t feel you’re a great writer”.
WTF I didn’t understand where this shit came from I wasn’t trying to be a
writer I was just getting my thoughts out. Once again I found myself in a position
pondering what my friend’s motives were. 3 years and many typed words later that
“honestly harsh” statment from Rustle allowed me to produce hundreds of
articles helping many people and making many friends across the globe (some of
which I have become really close with)…WOW he did it again –lol-
As time
moved later in life I found myself in a good stable condition. My training was
going good, stable law-firm job, trying to touch people lives with my writing ,
amongst other blessings coming into my life it seemed like that troubled young
goon from CSULA was gone and the MAN Monta Wiley came into being.
Well
situated I decided to take a cross country trip around the U.S. One stop I made
back in November of last year was to Portland, Oregon. The main reason for the
trip was for two reasons which were to meet the people I did articles on and secondly
too personally thank Rustle once again for helping me so much in my life. Sadly
due to schedule conflict that meeting never happened with Rus.
Flash
forward to January after a scandal that shocked the martial arts community ( I don’t
need to say what it is). Being a well-known writer I voiced my opinion and got
some great feedback. Later that day I received a message from my friend Rustle.
I thought it was going to be another schooling lesson from my OG friend. On the
contrary this is what he told me in a message…………….
Rustle Laidman: JJ been bery,
bery, good to you also, Monta. You were painfully shy, unable to look people in
the eye. Some instructors were not as accommodating of your personality as they
were of Arun, so you've had to make your own way. But you have made your way.
And in fact you're taking it in directions other people can't because of your
talents. It's an ongoing process. I think it's harder for me and you than it is
for somebody like Arun, but still, we have a lot to be grateful for.
Looking
back at this message when I think about it he was letting me know I am on my
own now and he had nothing left to teach me.
As I sit
here typing this blog against doctor’s orders with my dislocated finger the physical
pain I feel is nothing compared to the hole that is in my heart right now for
the loss of my friend. I have had a lot of deaths come into my life over the
past decade ( family members, friends, childhood idols, and other sad stories
that touched home) which I was able to come to grips with and move on quickly due
to the circumstances that what present in front of me. This however is a death
that strikes the core literally makes my heart curl as I type each word.
My
martial arts mentor, my friend, the individual who is responsible for my great
writing career, and father figure..gone like that. Dang –smh-
However
like the people I have meet in Denver and across the world I am so blessed to
have had such a great person in my life that helped me become the man I am
today who asked for nothing in return. I guess aside from my mother I now know
where I got my charitable traits from.
It may
take some time to get over but I know Rustle wouldn’t me acting this way. Guess
this is another part of the Battle Within I promoted so highly off.
I once
had an arrogant saying back then every time I ended training back at CSULA… “Monta Has Left The Building”.
As I continue
down my life to becoming a better man each day. I just hope GOD see’s my
effort.. so I can enter his building and see you again. Farewell my friend and
thank you for being a part of my life.
From yours
truly,
Monta
Wiley
