Reading this famous quote defies meaning to the premise focusing on your journey and not being distracted by outside forces that will interfere with you achieving your goals. Although this is the anthem to shaking those haters off, when I analyze this statement deeper I see something else which touches on the concept of simply being "ONE MAN IN THE ARENA". To think the last time you heard from me in a montablog I was a man in my own arena. I just completed the last episode of the battle within competition thing, covered a major Bellator event, having to deal with a close friend dying, and a bunch of other stuff. The only difference is with my non-stop post especially in regards to tournaments I have openly welcomed people into my arena which has been a combination of good and bad attention that has befell on me.
As of late with recent action photos popping of me competing at various tournaments like SBJJF Worlds, Tap Out Cancer Charity Open, and NABJJF All Americans people have been asking me one question. Why haven't I made, told, or will make any announcements of when I'm going to compete ? It's been a question I have avoided for a while because quite frankly I feel I didn't owe anyone an explanation. However for those that have supported me I feel I owe it to them. So I guess I will re-open the gate for the audience as they get to view the man Monta Wiley in the arena as he touches on the issue in this blog.
For those that don't know or have followed my blogs I have had to deal with competition anxiety along with some other mental problems related to bad experiences in competition for many years.My goal during my return to tournament action from 2012 to 2014 was one thing, break the fears I once had that held me down for so long which I think I accomplished for the most part. The problem is even when you tell people your about journey you still get positive and sadly negative feedback. You get looked at like a weirdo, people don't understand where you're coming from, and some times people will try to dictate what they except of you based on how they feel although they mean no harm.
This all came full force at the 2014 IBJJF Chicago Summer Open. I made a huge announcement about it on Facebook if people can remember. It was almost as if I was welcoming all critics to the special attraction in Monta's arena. Unfortunately building unnecessary hype around myself, trying to meet others expectations, along with dealing with my own "demons" hit me hard big time. End results I had an anxiety attack that almost landed me in a hospital in Chicago. I still ended up competing but looking back my mood and feelings about the tournament that day were not good at all for someone who flew out 1,000 of miles to have a good experience and possibly win a medal in the process. I performed well that day but lost in the first round.It was an eye opener that some times it's best to keep my mouth close in order to worry about myself and the experience in front of me waiting at the arena.
Traveling down the road to SBJJF Worlds originally I once again wasn't in my right mind state "going in". At that point I felt very negative about competition and I was dealing with a lot of personal things in my life outside of grappling. Going into that tournament I told myself that this will be my last tournament and I'm not telling anyone I'm competing . My plan was to fight hard and whatever the results were to walk away in silence as if I was ready to jump into my own farewell from competition grave be laid to rest. This strategy surprisingly worked in my favor. That day was a fun day as I ended up finishing 4th place (fighting in the medal rounds) and overall having an awesome time competing against three great opponents. I continued this formula into my next 2 tournaments which got me a third place medal at one event, befriending some of my opponents, anxiety was at an all time low, and overall just having fun focusing on how I feel and no one else.
Two totally different stories.Two totally different approaches of one man going into a life altering experience in the arena. This is how you can become your own critic and as my brother John Flite would say keeping a PMA. So if you haven't understood what all this means that pertains to why I'm not making any announcements about me competing in the future here is the answer.
(For the record some of my close friends will know through text whom understand my reasons for competing).
It's enough I have to deal with the thought of doing "damage" to someone for my own personal goals of being 1 % better (although my intentions are pure). It's enough I gotta deal with the thought of facing an opponent who wants to "take me out" for his own reasons. It's enough I have to deal with focusing on being in the moment trying to remain positive/humble through my victories and defeats. To sum it all up it a personal journey I just want to enjoy on my own without any promos surrounding it.
It is the best decision for me and my own sanity in my current goal of making every event fun, meaningful, and personal . But hey look on the bright side if anymore paparazzi photos pop up or if I decided to tell the results at least you know I competed afterwards ;-) -hahaha-
To end this blog I would like to encourage my peeps in BJJ to do something.
STOP MAKING WALL POST HYPING UP YOUR TOURNAMENTS .
Like myself you are a nobody. You're not Xande Ribeiro. You're Not Buchecha. You're not Garry Tonon. You're not even one of those top rising star color belts that get a lot of attention. However don't jump on my case yet because this is actually a good thing that most of us are Nobodies. As nobodies we draw less attention to ourselves which means we can focus on our goals whatever they may be with no added critics. For instance picture how hard it is for a top competitor in any sport to compete. His own expectations, his team, family, financial stability, & fans. What it spells out is a ton of weight going in to fulfilling the outcome.
Even MMA fighters (amateur, pro, and top fighters) have these same pressures to perform/win for a variety of different reasons.
Even MMA fighters (amateur, pro, and top fighters) have these same pressures to perform/win for a variety of different reasons.
What you fail to realize (and I see a lot of post on Facebook) when you build hype around yourself saying comments such as "Hey Guys I Have a Fight Coming Up" "Time to Win Gold and Kick Ass" you do three things .........................
1. You build an inflated ego which is unnecessary to have.
2. You lose sight of the experience in route to reaching your goal.
and
3. Unless your God or the BaseGod Marcelo Garcia you are trying create an outcome which hasn't even been completed.
It doesn't end there because this is where it gets hilariously sad when things don't go according to the "divine" plan.When things don't go your way you make the what I like to call "Heaven I Need A Hug" post and cry like spoiled children.
Ex: that referee screwed me, I didn't get the results I wanted, I was sick going in, and a bunch of other emotional stuff for people to feel sorry for you.
It something that needs to stop because you lose focus on yourself and welcome outside pressure along a journey that only you are going through physically and mentally. If it that special to announce my advice would be to tell the people close to you directly (inbox,text message, journey blog or whatever).
Don't believe what I say, check out these videos of what top black belts Jay Valko and Adem Redzovic has to say concerning this subject.
At the end of the day I just want people to relax and enjoy the journey to accomplishing your goals. We only have one life to live lets do it to the fullest and as strive hard to being our only critic in the arena.
1 % better
Monta (pronounced like Monday w/ a "T" replacing the "D")
