Success
all derives from our activities to obtain some form of value. Perhaps it's the external
values of money, material possession, career, and so forth. Maybe it’s the differential
contrast of wanting to be kinder, bolder, loving, and other attributes of
becoming a better human being on the inside.
Sticks
and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me is what I was told
growing up. However words hold great value in them which can either positively
or negatively influence the recipient. Win or Learn Never Lose is a common catch
phrase used in the Brazilian Jiu-jitsu community. It has become the premiere slogan
which covers the results after two competitors compete.
WIN
is the successful endeavor of capturing a focused goal worth some form of value.
LOSE is the unsuccessful attempt at obtaining something, that “something” we
deemed as valuable.
Lastly the wild card which brings some light into the lose
“LEARN” is a strategy used to formulate an action plan for future pursuit of
that valuable thing we lost.
Skimming through the pages of my mind reflecting on experiences competing and emotions after “battle” it occurred to me that this fag of a punch line has been misused greatly as it diminish our own value as growing martial artist, fighters ,human beings, or whatever status calls themselves. Win or Learn, Never Lose you say….BULLSHIT is what I call it.
The fourth wall is
about to be broken in that attempt to dismiss that imaginary world of mediocrity
acceptance to focus on the reality of holding value in what we do to better
ourselves.
I would like to assume that when it comes to being a driven
individual we carry a lot of passion and take pride in our focused work no
matter how hard the process will be. After all it is that work that provides
value for Internal and external aspect of fulfilling voids in our lives. Being Martial Artist from day 1 we are
instilled in pushing to better ourselves.
Part of that process includes the path one takes
toward COMPETING. Whatever your goals are competing carries a lot benefits and
but more so anxieties with its initial decision. Benefits include boast of
confidence, winning a championship, and learning more about yourself on a skill
& personal level. The anxieties it carries is losing a match, humiliation, injury,
emotion insecurities, facing an unknown foe (commonly known as the opponent),
and other elements we have no control over in most cases. Yet although the bad
outweighs the good we still take that leap of faith to do it because we value
ourselves enough.
Competing carries two valuable elements in its structure used
to describe the two battling opponents commonly known as the Winner and the
Loser. Being the winner carries so much prestige in its title as it describes a
person overcoming the odds getting the best possible results for themselves.
The loser diminishes the value of a person. One that didn’t have what it takes,
wasn’t good enough, and simply no one remembers.
Yet as time progressed and awareness
took its hold value is soon added to the experience of the Loser in an effort
to keep that individual motivated which is known today as LEARNING.
Example: "You didnt lose, you learned"
At this point you're probably wondering when is the argument
going to escalate to the point that is being made. The reasons for the
breakdown highlight the reality of what happens when you compete. This isn’t ping
pong you are in some form of a fight you choose to be in to add value to your
life and goals. Picture after you submit your opponent as you jump in glory
getting your hand raise as, you opponent put his head down in disappointment tasting
the agony of defeat. Yeah there is a
learning aspect involved in the experience but change the authenticity of the
situation. WIN or LOSE no in
between.
As growing adults and even teens there is no
needed to sugar code shit. We sign up to take that challenge. We pride
ourselves in facing adversity knowing the reality of the bad that could happen.
In
addition saying this phrase before an initial start of a match to a student/teammate
may cause a change in psyche to not push hard to do their best because hey
after all nothing bad can happen you win or you learn right ..right.
The worst part is after one loses a match when people say
this. No one needs to hear this after a match especially after they got their
ass kicked. They understand what happen and don’t need anyone trying to make
them feel better about the situation because if they are ambitious enough you
will find them back in the academy the next day training because they value themselves
to a high standard of reaching success.
Example: My experience
at 2015 IBJJF Masters Worlds
My reason for competing at this tournament was to test
myself at the highest level in gi competition. This originates from something
inside me that I wanted to prove to myself I could do anything I put my mind too.
Going in I knew of
the dangers this experience could bring. However I valued myself enough to sign
up and do it anyway. I trained hard for the event even spending thousands of
dollars traveling out of state to get ready for it. Unfortunately I lost in the first round by
points.
The results of the match didn’t bother me at all because I
accomplished my goal even if I didn’t win. However it is what happened
afterwards which got me upset the most. With the exception of 3 people who
understood my journey and why I compete, the rest was bullshit remarks from so-called "supporter" that did
more bad than good.
Comments from people ( some of you who did it are probably reading this) such as ………… Hey Monta how did you do.. Me: Lost in the first round. Response:
“Sorry to hear that”
“Don’t worry about it I lost in the first round too”
“That sucks you didn’t
win”
“Win or learn brother”.
“Better Luck next time”
This is something I didn’t need to hear as an individual who
values himself and his work. I take pride in pushing myself to become 1 % better whatever the results are. It hurt me to the point where I actually felt like
a LOSER because I did not achieve the status quo of what is deemed valuable in
others eyes even to the point where I was going to quit BJJ. Glad I didn’t follow
through with that plan then you can call me a LOSER.
The purpose of this chat is to illustrate how the WIN OR
LEARN (never LOSE) theory blurs the truth of a situation especially if a person
takes what they do seriously as a competitor/fighter/martial artist. We take
such risk putting it on the line to sell
ourselves short becoming delusinal of what is taking place if things dont go in our favor. In the grand scheme of things it really is about turning dreams into reality in chasing out intereal and external goals making the choice to compete.
However that doesn’t mean the word “LEARN” is total bullshit;
it’s just how it is used today that makes it bullshit. I’m no mathematician
however if I could make a proper formula for this great phrase it would read ......
WIN / LOSE= LEARN
The missing element of this whole equation is the experience
which educates you about yourself. We are too close minded of Win and Lose that
we do not see the big picture. Through experience we have highs and lows all devises
from our ability in “doing”. If you WIN it shouldn’t end with just that. There
are so many things to reflect on about your blessing that day. My guard game is
getting better, I learn how to submit instead of stall on points, I learned
about respecting my opponent for helping reach my goal, and other important
lessons that not only reflect your value but also motivate you to become better.
If you LOSE don’t make bitch-made excuses about the reality
of what happen. Instead analyze your short comings, reflect on your strengths,
and use it further continue your journey toward success.
Bringing this discussion to a close I would like to give readers some advice.
The Principle is competing against yourself. It's about self-improvment and being better than you were the day beore.
If you win it shouldnt end there because there are so many blessing to reflect on about your expereince and using it to become more motivated for future endevours. If you lose dont make bitch-ass exceses about the reality of what happened. Unless there is a time machine lying around what's done can't be undone. Accept reality, respect yourself, analyze your shortcomings, reflect on your strengths, and use it to continue your journey of self-worth and success.
WIN or LOSE while obtaining your VALUE through expereince LEARNING.
thanks for your time everyone
1 % Better
monta (pronounced like Monday with a "T" replacing the "D")
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